Everything I Wanted (2019)

"Everything I Wanted" (stylized in all lowercase) is a song by American singer-songwriter Billie Eilish, released on November 13, 2019, by Darkroom and Interscope Records as a standalone single. It was later added to the Japanese complete and deluxe editions of Eilish's debut studio album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? (2019). Written by Eilish and its producer, her brother, Finneas O'Connell, it is an electronica and house-influenced alternative pop track with minimal piano and downtempo bass guitar instrumentation. Inspired by a nightmare she experienced, the song is about Eilish's strong relationship with O'Connell and his protectiveness of her from harm.

"Everything I Wanted" received acclaim from critics, several of whom praised the music and lyrics. The song reached number eight on the Billboard Hot 100, becoming Eilish's second top-ten hit in the United States. It debuted at number one in several countries, including Ireland and Norway, and reached the top five in Australia, Austria, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Sweden, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom. "Everything I Wanted" has received several certifications, including quadruple Platinum in Canada and triple Platinum in the US and the UK. At the 63rd Annual Grammy Awards, the song won Record of the Year and was nominated for Song of the Year and Best Pop Solo Performance.

Eilish directed the song's accompanying music video, which was uploaded to her YouTube channel on January 23, 2020. The video depicts Eilish and O'Connell holding hands while driving in a Dodge Challenger through a city and into the ocean; it received positive reviews from critics, many of whom praised its visual theme and message. Eilish has performed "Everything I Wanted" live several times; it was included on the set lists of her When We All Fall Asleep Tour (2019) and Where Do We Go? World Tour (2020). Eilish and O'Connell performed the track during a 50-minute livestream for Verizon Communications in April 2020, as well as at the 63rd Grammy Awards in March 2021.

Background and release

In October 2019, Finneas O'Connell said he and his sister, Billie Eilish, were working on new music. In November of that year, Eilish announced the release of two new songs and a music video for the song "Xanny", which was released the following month. She later announced the song's title, "Everything I Wanted", and its release date during a livestream on Instagram on November 10, 2019. "Everything I Wanted" was used in an advertisement for Beats by Dre headphones that features Eilish. The track was originally titled "Nightmare".

Eilish and O'Connell—who is best known by his stage name, Finneas—started to write "Everything I Wanted" in September 2018; it began as a feeling of Eilish's depression. Eilish got the inspiration for the song in 2018, when she had a dream in which she died after jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and nobody cared. She could not stop thinking about her nightmares, which made her feel "caught up" and "distracted" as she and O'Connell were trying to work her fears into a new track. When she told O'Connell about the idea, he became very uncomfortable about the topic. In an interview with The New York Times, Eilish said she "was in a really bad place mentally" while O'Connell said he did not want to help her write a hopeless song about suicide because he and their parents were concerned about her well-being. He told Eilish she "can't always solve [her] problems in a song". Eilish persuaded O'Connell and their parents by telling them that writing "Everything I Wanted" was "the way I can feel those things without doing something to myself". Eilish and O'Connell changed the song's subject to one of mutual support and togetherness rather than depression and suicide. The duo discussed how their relationship and understanding of what music is have made them write music together. The song also references Eilish's feelings about fame, which she sometimes finds frustrating.

"Everything I Wanted" was mastered by John Greenham and mixed by Rob Kinelski, both of whom also served as studio personnel. The song was released for digital download and streaming as a single on November 13, 2019, via Darkroom and Interscope Records. It was added to the reissue of Eilish's debut studio album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, in December 2019. A flexi disc of the song was released via pre-order to ship in the following four-to-six weeks. The release came with a digital single that was delivered to US customers via email. The single's cover art, an abstract painting of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, California, was made by Jason Anderson.